I Traveled Across the Ocean and All I Got Was Confused
by Doctor Felton Broflovski
Summary: When Alfred gets accepted into a pretigious high school in France, he has to move across the ocean and live with his host family, the Bonnefoys. For Alfred, it's weird, especially since that creepy kid, Arthur, hangs around all the time. During his first few days there, everything he thinks is France is weird, but as time progesses, he may be the weird one! Blond trio.


**I got this idea a while ago. It doesn't really have a real plot, but I'm going to try to make it a fun read. It focuses heavily around French culture and France.**

**Keep in mind, all of the dialogue in here is in French. So even if you don't speak it, get the ring of it into your head or something to make it more realistic.**

**Hetalia and everything incorporated with it belongs to Hidekaz Himaruya.**

"'Let Alfred move to France!' They said! 'It'll be fun!' They said!" I muttered under my breath.

Yay, send a highschooler alone on an airplane to France for an overnight trip and let some random family pick me up at the airport. They may or may not be who is supposed to pick me up, but who cares! My mommy and daddy just want 'What's best for our Alfie!"

I looked around the airport. Everything was in French. Sure, I learned French before I came here, but when it's still very new to you; you start getting overwhelmed by everything. And when everything from French I to VI is crammed into you in months, it's hard.

Once again, I gave a glance around. I saw a gift shop and wafted toward it. There was Sprite and I Love France T-Shirts that you see all the time in New York there as well. I charged in and looked around. There was Coke, so I immediately grabbed some, but I am still struggling with the dollar-to-Euro conversion. And I was broke, after all.

"Uh…yeah…no…" I shook my head along with the clerk and slowly put my stuff back. Then, I felt a tap on my shoulder. "Hey, dude," I said in English. I turned around. There was some blond kid with long hair that was about my height staring and me and smiling.

"Excuse me, but is your name Alfred? Alfred Jones?" WTF CREEPY STALKER KID.

"Uh, yeah, why?" He explained that he was the Bonnefoy people, or my host family. He grabbed my wrist and led me out of the store, leaving me reaching for the coke. He dragged me out and I saw the people who I assumed were his family. There was a tall lady with blonde hair like that kid's, a man with light brown hair that was smiling, and a short kid that looked like a total outcast with his huge brows.

The lady smiled and waved at me.

"Hi, Alfred! We were looking for you!" She leaned down and pressed her cheeks to either side of my face. I think it's that European greeting. She looked nice enough. She also looked a bit like me. Like she could pass off as my mother. We had the same brows and eyes, and her husband, I presume, had brown hair.

"Uh. Hello. Madame." I said, returning her gesture as she did with me.

"No, no, no! No need to be so formal with me, dear!" She introduced herself as Colette, and her husband as Loic. She seemed to have forgotten about her two awkward kids and we left the airport. Blondie sat on the side behind the front passenger (places are reversed in Europe, I forgot) seat and the sore thumb behind the driver. And where else is there for me to sit? The middle back. The sucky seat that no one wants to sit in.

After we were on the road for a few minutes, my new parents started talking and turned on the radio. French music was playing. All of it was depressing or awkward rap. But then that Lil Wayne (or somebody's) song came on.

"Oh. My. God. Becky. Look at her butt. Tunechi." I said to myself en anglais. The kid to my right glared at me.

"Oh, anyway, I'm Francis." The blond kid said. He stuck his hand out. I shook it.

"Yeah, I think you already know that I'm Alfred." Francis pointed at the kid next to me.

"That's Arthur. He's usually not much better that this and he's over at my house a lot, so, you may have to get used to him," He explained. I turned to Arthur. He just stared at me with his hand out.

"Hi. Arthur. You have a cool name. Haha. Doesn't seem very French to me, but okay. Back in the US, whole bunches of different type people live there, so you get used to it." I shook his hand.

"I'm not from France." Was all he said and he turned back around. Hmm…

"So, we are going straight to your house?" I asked.

"No, I believe we're going out to eat first. It'll be a while; it's in 4." Francis said. Speaking of which…

"Oh, uh, where do you live?"

"16," Oh, he is one of those rich people. 4 is rich and fancy too, ha ha.

Honestly, I didn't know where the restaurant was, but I hope that it was a good one. I just stared out of Francis' window, since I'm pretty sure that if Arthur caught me looking anywhere near him, he'd try to stab me.

Boy, were there a LOT of Italian restaurants in France. Geez.

But, in a certain amount of time, we pulled into the park of a fancy looking restaurant and got out. As soon as we stepped in, my new mom told them her name and we were immediately escorted to our seats. We were in a very clean, fancy looking area in a booth near the back. Francis' _maman_ and _papa_ were on one side of the booth and Francis, Arthur, and I were on the other side. Of course, I was forced to sit on the outside, so I was nearly falling off. Well, if I sat like a normal person, I'd have plenty of space, but I'm one of those people who can't stop moving, so it was hell.

In a few second's time, a guy came over and smiled at us. He said his name was Olivier and he would serve us. Then he shot us the question. The one that scared me.

"Tap, bottle, or gas." WHAT.

"We'll take gas," my new mother said. Olivier smiled and walked off. What the hell?!

"We're going to drink gas?!" I hissed to myself en anglais. "France is weird! Maybe I'll just avoid it, saying wasn't thirsty because of the complimentary soda on the plane ride. Yeah yeah, that's it. Of all places, I mean seriously." Francis looked at me and titled his head. Arthur just glared at me and shook his head.

"Uh, nothing, just never had gas water before, haha." I said to Francis in French.

Olivier came back with this yellow-looking stuff in glasses. It was a bit weird so I didn't drink it.

We sat in silence for a moment. Arthur had pulled out his phone and started flipping through it. I tried to examine it, to see what language it was in, but Francis was blocking me. I just sighed and turned back to the table. Being in a fancy restaurant in France really makes you want to go to Shoney's so you can pretend to be 11 and color a picture of Shoney bear. It made me sad.

"I want to go back," I muttered in English. Arthur looked at me funny again and then went back. He stretched out with his phone in his hand to take a break from being curled in the corner and I tried to sneak a glance at it, but he snatched away when he saw me leaning in.

After a while, Olivier came back.

"Are you ready to order?" he asked.

"I'm sure," Francis' dad said.

"What would you like, sir?"

"Coq au vin,"

"And you, Madame?"

"Cassoulet, please."

He looked at Arthur.

"Pot au feu," he said all huffily.

Then Francis.

"Andouillette, please."

And finally me.

"Uh... uh... um... well..." I fumbled with the menu, but I couldn't find a page and I kept dropping it.

"He'll have Steak frites," Francis said for me. I would normally appreciate what he did, but I don't know what the hell that is.

"You sure?"

"Uh, yeah..." I mumbled. I'm pretty sure that this isn't proper etiquette that my mom would yell at me for or something. If only my dad were here. He could teach me how to do all this shit. I mean...

"You food should be done soon," Olivier said and walked away with a slight bow.

"He's cute, isn't he?" Francis' mom said.

"I _guess_," Francis' dad said, all jelly. LOL.

I smiled to myself. I saw Arthur shake his head in the corner and smile a bit. Francis laughed.

They started talking, but they talked quickly, so I couldn't pick up very well.

They were all in conversation, even Arthur. I had no one to talk to, so I pulled out my phone like Arthur did. Is it possible to text my mom from across the ocean?

I didn't know what to do, I started playing Nyan Cat: Lost in Space. It was fun. The word of the day is Billards, like it ALWAYS FUCKING IS.

And then a song got stuck in my head. Oh jeez. I didn't even realize that I was singing it out loud.

"Wake up in the mornin' feeling like P. Diddy. Got my glasses I'm out the door, I'm gonna hit this city. Before I leave, brush my teeth with a bottle of jack cos when I leave for the night I ain't coming back!" I sang quietly. I didn't realize that everyone was watching me. But I suddenly noticed the sound around me die and I slowly looked up. Francis and his mom were smiling at me, Arthur was totally face palming and Francis' dad looked like he was restraining laughter.

I immediately felt my cheeks burn and I knew I was blushing. That was embarrassing.

"Hahaha... uh, yeah, this isn't what it looks like. My brother Matthew... um... sang that all the time, yeah!" I said it. Next thing you know, I'm going to be riding a pony down the halls of school.

And then a whole 'nother thing started bothering me. What if they think I'm retarded in school because I don't know how to assimilate?! Then they'll make fun of me for being a giiiiiiiiimmmmppppp!

Luckily, Olivier came back with our food. So everyone stopped thinking about me and I stopped thinking about school and being an r-tard.

He slid Francis' dad some sort of poultry in red liquid, his mom more poultry with sausage and some white stuff, Arthur beef stew, Francis something that looked suspiciously like chitterlings, and me steak and fries. OMG HE KNOWS ME SO WELL AND WE'VE KNOWN EACH OTHER FOR THREE HOURS!

"Oh my god this is so good." I said in English. I shoved like 12 fries in my mouth. "Thanks," I said to Francis.

The rest of the night went relatively well and I actually shared an anecdote of my own. When we were back in the car, Francis was quietly telling me a story about our school. Quietly because Arthur and Francis' dad were asleep. Must've been that wine, LILZ.

"Monsieur Janson de Sailly was a very wealthy lawyer, who found out that his was cheating on him. So he disinherited her disinherit her. He was so bitter about it that he even gave all of his money to the state. But that's only if they would use it to build a high school that no females were ever allowed to attend."

"Wow. Do girls go there now?" I asked.

"Yes, they opened it to everyone. It's a nice school; I'm sure you'll like it."

"Like hell I will."

**Sorry if this was shit. I was hoping for the other chapters to turn about better, but they're not up here yet. This is an intro, so I hope it made you interested. **


End file.
